It’s possible I was a touch harsh in my last post. I’ll admit it was written in a moment (hour/s) of feminist pique. But I just cannot deal with people associating all free marketers with this idea that we need to “defend traditional marriage.” Dude, traditional marriage isn’t over because you lost the culture war. It’s pure economics.
Better-educated women delay marriage. Less-educated women are are forgoing it entirely. The Atlantic (heart!) looked into why low-education women aren’t getting married. The excellent article demonstrates how declining wages for low-skill men and the declining costs of being a single person both have a huge impact on whether a women marries.
Marriage has always been about economics. That’s why traditional marriage isn’t actually a thing. Marriage has always been what was economically expedient. Even today, polygamy is still practiced where women don’t earn and income inequalities are extreme, i.e. where it still makes economic sense.
There are moments when I do and say certain things and then I’m like, to myself, “Yeah, I am neeeeever gonna be socially acceptable.” Which, seeing as I’m poly and “out” and a full-time sex blogger and a libertarian is clearly not my number one priority. But there are still moments of doubt, when I’m like, should I be prioritizing social acceptability higher? But then I just sit back and tell myself that I really don’t have too much of a choice. Authenticity is my only option because I am so freaking bad at subterfuge. It’s just not a tool in my arsenal. I think Igor loves me because he values honesty more than smoothness or social grace. Which I’m just cracking up writing. And lastly I remember that this asset/deficit combination doesn’t excuse me from trying to “do me” in ways that are relationship-building as opposed to alienating, as much as I can anyway.
Like, maybe I should have been more kumbaya about conservative feminism. But kumbaya is so damn boring! Do you have feels? What are they? Because if you don’t, why are you bothering to weigh in? Go play a sport. This is why I don’t do sports. Because I’m entirely uncoordinated, physically weak, and I’m too busy writing all my damn feels down and putting them on the internet.
I think you’re right that it is self-defeating to say things in a certain way out of a need to feel socially accepted. Above the fireplace in the old FEE mansion, there is a quote from George Washington that has always resonated with me: “If, to please the people, we offer what we ourselves disapprove, how can we afterwards defend our work? Let us raise a standard to which the wise and honest can repair. The rest is in the hands of God.”
That being said, I think it’s important to engage with the best possible version of an argument, rather than what we assume or feel is being said. This is the “standard to which the wise and honest can repair.” Ideological Turing tests help ensure this standard. I enjoyed wrestling through this with you 🙂
Same here! I really enjoy it when you engage on these issues. And that’s a good point about engaging with the best possible version. I like that a lot.
Love it. I’m all for big-tent feminism but that doesn’t mean ignoring ideological pitfalls, or playing nice all the time.
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