The 4 Dumbest Reactions to Me Keeping My Name

We’ve got another awesome Sex and the State guest post! If you would like to submit a guest post, please fill out my contact form with an brief outline of what you want to write about. “Good luck! You really have your hands full with that one!” He said jovially, elbowing my husband lightly. He wasn’t talking … [Read more…]

A Follow-up to the Divorce Post

Thinking about the mixed, and strong, reactions to my post about my divorce. Any time I’m surprised by people’s reactions to something I’ve written, I know I’ve failed as a writer. I tend to write about controversial topics, especially topics I haven’t made my mind up on. And the way I think about things tends … [Read more…]

Getting Divorced Saved My Marriage

For Ravishly’s latest conversation, on marriage: Modern Marriage Wedding season is here, and while we’re digging out those garden-party dresses, we’re also reflecting upon the ancient institution of marriage and its place in modern society. Though pundits across the Internet endlessly speculate that marriage is falling out of fashion, it’s a tradition that still holds … [Read more…]

Trans Women Don’t Need Radfems’ Gender Policing

I believe trans women are women. And the sun is hot. It offends me that we’re having this conversation. “Trans-exclusionary radical feminism” is, by definition, bigoted against trans women. That doesn’t mean bigots don’t sometimes have a point. It was frustrating to watch both sides of the divide on the question of whether trans women … [Read more…]

Sex and Rolling Stone: Orange is the New Prison Reform

It’s sad evidence of collective latent racism that no one cares about prison until a conventionally attractive, intelligent, well-educated, middle-class, urban white woman goes there. Hence, Orange is the New Black, a funny and moving hit original series based on a bestselling memoir. How is it that black and Latina women are relegated to supporting … [Read more…]

Autonomy Versus Life: Suicide, Depression, Lifesaving Interventions, and Free Will

Autonomy, to me, is sacred. I value it more than I value other things, competing things. The direct opposite of autonomy is something like coercion or slavery. But to the side of that exists infringements on autonomy we’ll call “care,” including suicide prevention and breathing machines. An illustrative, if stark, example of autonomy violating care … [Read more…]