My review of OMGYES, the website trying to close the orgasm gap

So I bought OMGYES and here’s my review of it.

What is OMGYES?

Here’s the intro video:

OMGYES.com intro from FGS on Vimeo.

Basically, OMGYES is aimed at closing the orgasm gap.

According to the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior (NSSHB), the last time they had sexytimes, 91% of men surveyed had an orgasm but only 64% of women did.

The idea is stupid-simple. Ask a bunch of women what feels good to them, find the patterns, then teach other women how to do those moves.

Co-founders Lydia Daniller and Rob Perkins had a research team interview 1,000 women about how they like to be touched and then commissioned Kinsey Institute researcher Dr. Debby Herbenick and Dr. Brian Dodge at Indiana University to conduct a nationally representative survey of another 1,000 women. This qualitative and quantitative research forms the basis of their recommended techniques.

It’s like you’re handed a map when you are born and told there’s treasure somewhere but you have to find it. OMGYES has colored in the paths that most other women have successfully used to find the treasure. Learning where the paths that tend to work are located just seems like such an obvious win.

Why did I buy OMGYES?

It appealed to me for three reasons: The research, the tech, the results. First, I’m generally interested in academic quantitative research on human sexuality. And I also feel that female sexual pleasure is a woefully understudied topic. So I’m happy to support this research endeavor. Second, the teaching method involves interactive videos with haptic feedback. I’m curious to try that out. Third, I’m not very good at masturbating. Or directing my lovers on how to touch me, other than to constantly say “lighter.” I find most of my own touches (and others’ touches too, tbh) kind of terrible!

Not knowing is frustrating and trying new things is frustrating so I have my method that involves pressing myself onto the bed and I rarely deviate from that. I love sex. And I think it’s normal for the thing that gets you off to be mostly mental. But I wish it weren’t so difficult for me and my partners to get me off with our hands and their mouths. I suspect that if I knew what was mostly likely to feel good and wasted less time on stimulation that doesn’t, playing around with my vagina would be more fun and less frustrating.

Thoughts on OMGYES

It’s got a very easy and intuitive checkout process.

The interface is modern and attractive. Although I would have preferred it be more clear where I am supposed to start.

screen-shot-2016-10-23-at-4-04-40-pm

Once you click on a video, there are helpful hints about how to use the page and what is what.

screen-shot-2016-10-23-at-4-07-22-pm

I’m not exactly completely unread about sexuality, so I didn’t expect to learn a ton. For example, I’d heard of the “edging” technique to create stronger orgasms. But I found I learned things that not only did I not know about women’s orgasms, but things I found totally unintuitive, such as the specific fact that edging led to longer, more intense orgasms for 65.5% of women studied. More generally, I had no ideally that there are three main edging techniques, and for most women just one of them does the trick.

The edging instructional video had the woman in the screenshot totally naked, touching her inner labia, and explaining what she’s doing. Which was jarring at first, to be honest. I’ve never seen a woman masturbating outside of porn (well, IRL a few times).

zoey

One thing that’s cool about the videos is the little things that you realize are normal. Like, I find that touching myself the way that I loved one time will do nothing for me the next, which is hella frustrating but also made me feel weird. But hearing Amber talk about sometimes having to find the sensitive spot on her vulva because it moves made me feel normal and like, “We’re in this together!”

The road test

So I took some of what I learned in the “teasing” module and tried it out IRL. That consisted of getting high and watching the Mindy Project, and then pausing when Dr. Jody Kimball-Kinney appeared on screen in a thin white tee. (Don’t judge me.) After teasing myself to orgasm, my lovely partner offered to help me try out some techniques.

It was awesome. It’s not so much that trying the technique is breaking new ground. It isn’t. It’s that I felt confident in directing him to use the technique. I was confident that it would work (2,000 women!) and confident that it was a normal thing to ask for. And, perhaps most importantly, confident to insist that it go on long enough to really work. According to OMGYES, teasing usually doesn’t work until you’ve done it a bunch of times. Truth be told, I wish there had been more teasing before the awesome sex we ended up having. And I felt confident enough to tell my partner that later that night.

This is kind of a breakthrough for me. I often get bored and anxious during the part of foreplay that’s focused on my pleasure, and end up cutting it early and switching to giving a blow job or something else I know my partner likes in order to keep things moving and keep my mind engaged. This is a mistake. It teaches my partners that I don’t want much head/touching/etc. when the truth is that I do want it. In fact I really need it. Just not like that. And it robs us of the opportunity to work together to find out what gets me out of my head and turned on.

Who it’s for

If you also find yourself bored and anxious during foreplay, this is a good investment. It’s really nice to hear other women say, in essence, “Immediate, rough, dry fingerbanging isn’t foreplay.” And, “Going straight for the most sensitive area of my body and pressing hard on it after 2 minutes of kissing not only does not arouse me but actually feels horrible.” And, “Do not think that you are good at sex if you can’t move your tongue and/or mouth in the exact same way for five minutes straight.”

I had a pretty good grip on what didn’t feel good before OMGYES. But I didn’t know what to insist on trying, and what to insist on continuing. Most partners, if they tease me, do it for about 30 seconds before trying to put some part of their body inside mine. That’s not enough, not only for me, but for most women, according to the research. Maybe it shouldn’t, but it really helps me demand more to have other women backing me up, saying that the fact that it’s not working is because you need to do it longer. Which is somewhat counterintuitive.

I’d say, based on my experience, that every single man who has sex with women should buy OMGYES. Like, now. Y’all are not teasing enough, not consistent enough, not any of these things enough. None of you are.

I’d be curious about other women’s thoughts on why they would, or wouldn’t, be open to trying OMGYES. Let me know in the comments.

67 Comments

  1. Rebecca

    I’m curious how well the haptic feedback on the tutorials are. Did you try those out? Do they work on a typical touch screen?

    The whole site looks like an incredible resource for women. Great review.

  2. Alexandra

    Just subscribed to OMGYes.
    Hope I will learn a lot 😉
    Maybe I will share the access with my man… if I dare 😉

  3. Jessie

    I also recently signed up for OMGYES and I’m quite in love with it! I feel like it really affirmed to me what I had to learn in my own life – that having an orgasm is a learned behaviour and technique! Since males are expected to masturbate younger and more frequently than females, the behaviour is far more accepted for them and they learn what it takes to get themselves off. Female masturbation is still far more taboo, so women 1) don’t do it and 2) don’t talk about it. This means we’re less likely to either expect an orgasm or even know what it’ll take to get us there.
    I think OMGYES’ focus on female sexuality and pleasure made me more confident to tell my partner what I like. It’s the first time I’ve felt truly comfortable giving directions and asking for what I want – and my partner seems thrilled with the results (as am I, obviously). I highly, highly recommend this site to men and women alike!

  4. Sara

    Do not neglect the fun a solo woman can have under the shower. Place your thumb over the end of the shower tube and direct the flow of water along the edges of your opening (not inside!). With some attention you will find the sweet spots near your clitoris and by focusing on pulling up your vaginal muscles and pushing hard on the balls of your feet, you will discover ecstasy. All by yourself. No waiting, no words, just pure pleasure.

  5. Sarah

    Thank you for your review! I will definitely try since my only technique resemble to yours “pressing on the bed” and I never found another girl that did the same! 😀

  6. Karo

    I subscribed maybe half a year ago. “Y’all are not teasing enough, not consistent enough, not any of these things enough. None of you are.” sums it up pretty nicely. My man came in when I was on the site, I told him what its about and shared my password. Apparently he has checked out some of the decribed techniques. Although he takes good care of my pleasure during sex (not least because forplay gives me orgasms where the actual intercourse doesn’t, so i have never settled for less 😉 he definitely had new tricks up his sleeve. Nobody can ever know too much about female pleasure, I’d say.

  7. I’m glad you’ve reviewed this! I’ve been thinking about purchasing for a while now, but wasn’t sure what I would get out of it. Great job!

  8. Anna

    I never sign up for, you know, pretty much any sites. But I’m extremely intrigued. I’ve never been good at masturbating myself and there isn’t really a course for that, nor is there an easy answer you can get from you friends. I hope I’ll be able to just explore at my own pace and finally feel like I know my body!

  9. Taylor

    I got OMGYES because I suck at masturbating and I cannot for the life of me orgasm. I have come closer with partners but i haven’t had a partner long enough to figure it out. I wish there was a bit more focus and feedback from women who were unable to orgasm for a long time and then figured it out. But it is interested to see and hear about what feels good to other women to then compare it to myself and realize that I appear to be ”normal” in some ways. This review was actually super great because it seems like the author’s problem is being too in her head which is definitely my problem. Would be nice to hear about women’s techniques to get out of their heads. Weed is the only thing that kind of works but it doesn’t get me there while masturbating.

    • Alison Scott

      I hope you get OMG and learn to have orgasms. It’s incredibly empowering to give yourself an orgasm that will rock your socks. Good luck

    • Heddy

      Clitoral stim PLUS penetration was what helped me… but it takes a while. I read that women with smaller clits have a harder time coming. Knowing my partner is enjoying the time it takes to get me there is key. I start to visualize abstract patterns, pretty much involuntarily….

    • Charlotte

      I’ve had the same problem. Until I was 18 years old, I had never had an orgasm and I thought that I was unable to have one. Then, after a lot of practice, my then boyfriend and I figured out what worked. We broke up almost three years ago though, and nobody else has ever been able to give me an orgasm again. Including myself. I do have a small clitoris, so that might be part of the issue, but I think for me the real problem is getting out of my head, like you. I think I need to be with someone I love, who loves me, to be able to completely relax and clear my head. Like Heddy said, I also need to know that my partner is enjoying trying to get me there, or I’ll worry that he’ll want to stop soon the entire time. I also need clitoral stimulation and penetration at the same time to even get close. Another issue is that I put a lot of pressure on myself to orgasm, whether I’m masturbating or with a partner, so whenever I get close, I feel like I “HAVE to orgasm RIGHT NOW”, so I tense up and it goes away. Anyway, this is why I’m on the fence about purchasing OMGYES. I feel like all of the information about female orgasms is about how to have better, longer or more frequent orgasms, but what about women who never have an orgasm at all?

      • cathyreisenwitz

        I totally get how “Here’s how to orgasm” advice feels like more pressure to perform. I think OMGYes is good in that it teaches you things that are likely to feel good. And they feel good whether you orgasm or not.

    • Anon

      I clicked on this randomly from facebook, and am fighting back tears to hear the description the author had of her own cluttered minds pace during foreplay, and many of the other women in the comments who, like me, are bad at masturbating and some of whom (like me) have never had an orgasm.

    • Christina

      I feel the exact same way Taylor. I’m almost 30 and still have never had an orgasm (and certainly not for lack of trying). I’m starting to think I’m incapable of orgasming…maybe I’ll try this too before I completely write it off though.

    • Shannon

      I’ve always been fairly sexual, but didn’t have my first orgasm until I was 23. Happened completely on accident when I was playing around with a vibrating object (not a vibrator). I had it angled in my panties so that it was held firmly against me, more in the area of my urethra I think. I then curled my legs up to my chest like the fetal position and it hit me before I knew what was happening. For awhile I was unable to replicate it. Due to the meds I was on, I could only get physically horny a couple times a month. Then I started having orgasms in my sleep. I too, have a small clit. You can’t even see it if you pull back the hood. Like described in the article my “spot” would move each time, though a couple years later I pretty well know how to rub my clit to get the job done. Penetration did nothing for me initially but dull the experience. I had to watch very specific porn or read erotic fics to get me to the stage of orgasm, and I still do. In the beginning I found it helpful to imagine my vagina expanding, or tenting. If my clit gets too wet and slippery, I feel nothing. Now, I am able to penetrate with my vibrating object (a nicely shaped electric razor) while rubbing my clit. It’s all about build up. I first get myself going with a video/story and rubbing, edge myself however I long I feel like, position the razor in my panties so it’s at my entrance and slips in the more aroused I get, edge some more, but I don’t turn on the vibrations and start moving it until right before I’m ready to orgasm. The most intense I’ve ever felt it. I can only feel my inner g-spot right before orgasm too. Sorry if that was all a bit much, but for the longest time I thought I was broken too. I still am unable to anywhere close to climax with a guy, but to be fair I haven’t met one to keep around yet (since being able to climax).

    • Erica

      You need to clear your mind of everything. Kind of like meditating… I can’t have the TV on or even music. I want to be able to focus on sex or masterbating. I also go to my favorite fantasies and play them out in my head. My eyes stay closed most of the time (it seems to help me focus on just enjoying the pleasure). I think the concept of this website is great and could be helpful for a lot of women

  10. Loreena

    Great review! My husband got this site for me and at first I got defensive. But I got over that pretty quick when I saw the articles about it. It’s been awesome for our marriage – we try one new section of the site together every weekend instead of a netflix night and it’s been wonderful for us. My one complaint is it’s SO MUCH content that they drop on you all at once without a guide of how to go through it. I definitely recommend it to all my friends but just wish there were some kind of ‘start here’ section or something.

  11. Toyfee

    Whenever I see research on female sexuality I want to know whether the women studied were using hormonal birth control. Sex was okay when I was using it for 10+ years, orgasms consistent but (as I know now) nothing special, but I had almost zero libido – could totally take it or leave it. Had no desire to masturbate. Now in my 40s with no hormones, all done with pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, etc. sex is A-may-zing. Awesome orgasms nearly every time (and pretty good ones the rest of the time), don’t even need foreplay most of the time, and masturbation is fun, quick and easy. I would try OMGYES if I wanted to crack the mystery of oral sex which has never done it for me, but since I think my hubby is happy about that, I don’t think I’ll bother. Happy for the women this helps though!

    • Mike

      Let me get this right. You would deny yourself even more sexual fulfillment because your hubby doesn’t like to give head? This is how you guys end up here in the first place. There is nothing wrong with making your gratification a priority and any guy who doesn’t support that is the wrong guy for you. My advice to him is get over it bud. He needs to realize the better time you have in bed, the better time he’ll have in bed. Everybody wins.

      • Shannon

        Oral doesn’t do anything for me either, and I would never ask my partner to do it for me. I don’t blame her husband for not liking it. I know I couldn’t do it. It’s taken me awhile to even get used to precum without swallowing back vomit. A vulva full of bodily juices? Just can’t. And I couldn’t ask someone to do what I would be unwilling to do myself. Why try to make someone do something they don’t want to do? They possibly wouldn’t have the motivation to go the extra mile needed. I personally don’t like giving head, and even hearing/feeling how much the guy likes it doesn’t stop my jaw from hurting and just wanting to move on to other things. I make up for it in other ways anyway.

  12. mirjam heijn

    “Y’all are not teasing enough, not consistent enough, not any of these things enough. None of you are.”

    You could only know that if you slept with all of us.

    I’m sure material such as this can be good training wheels for new lovers, or those who are inexperienced. Just remember that lovemaking is an art and that everything in art can start to bore after a while. Continuing communication, creativity and courage are essential for having an ever improving love life.

  13. Megan

    I’m in my 40s and never had an orgasm. I also loved the idea of helping pay for more research. And I’ve finally fallen in love with a fabulous guy who I can talk to about anything. I guess I’m a late bloomer! Lol! So I bought this, and we looked at a bunch of them together. It was great! We haven’t had a chance to try them all out yet, but I’m starting to try some out on my own, which I never really did before, so it is already making a huge difference. I always felt like I was doing it “wrong” even on my own. I shared the website on my Facebook page, and a guy friend at work told me yesterday that he and his wife got it, even though this isn’t necessarily an issue for them. But they both liked the idea of contributing to more research, and said they had a great time trying out new techniques. This site is amazing, for so many reasons.

  14. Rosie

    I only heard about this site recently and am very tempted. I’m in my early 30s and have never had a male partner and only experimented with one woman. I find it difficult to orgasm as i lose concentration and as mentioned before, what works one time doesn’t later on. I really would like to know how i work better. I go through phases of having a very active sex drive and then none at all.

    Nice to here that the shower head and pressing on the bed have worked for other people too. I hadn’t heard about anyone else doing those before.

    • Shiara

      It’s good for learning about what works for you, and doesn’t matter if you’re learning solo or for/with a partner.

      It helps to normalise female genitalia (no airbrushing here!), and make you feel more comfortable about touching yourself “down there”. There is a good cross-section of ladies with different body types, different sexual orientations, varying ages, etc., all sharing – in detail – what turns them on and what gives them a great, big O. And then they SHOW how they do it. They also have some advice on avoiding things that can kill the build-up.

      If you want to learn how to give head, guide a partner, or just make your solo sexy fun times even more intense, it’s worth checking out.

  15. Sarah

    I feel like i masturbate in a really weird way. I put my fingers on either side of my labia and sort of rub it back and forth? My clit is trapped between them and gets rubbed as well. I worry that it damages or desensitizes my clit and thins my labia. I’ve tried occasional penetration with hair brushes and handles and nothing ever felt good. I’d love to feel that rush I’ve heard about from penetration but it just doesn’t happen. Am i weird? Am i damaging myself? This is like the first time I’ve ever asked these questions and I’m 24. I’m worried that I’ll get married and won’t feel anything from my husband.

    • cathyreisenwitz

      You are definitely not damaging yourself or weird. Lots of women don’t particularly care about penetration, especially by inanimate objects! Most women prefer their penetration to involve clit stim at the same time, something you can do during sex using toys, your hands, or the right position. You have nothing to worry about.

    • Erin

      I use the same method! It will not damage anything, and it’s less direct so you definitely don’t have to worry about desensitizing. As long as your husband is willing to find out what feels good to you , and take the time to do it ,I agree with Cathy.

  16. Caitlin

    This is a great resource. I’ve only just started talking about masturbation with my girlfriends in my mid to late 20s and there needs to be more of that.
    I think this would be a good gift for a younger girls to get to know themselves before they are sharing themselves with others. That way they have confidence, know what they want and what works as well as seeing that it is normal amongst all women.

  17. Mindy

    Wow this is pretty neat. It’s nice to know penetration doesn’t do it for more than just me….I always felt broken and kind of like a loser, and of course guys don’t like it when you say their dick just isn’t doing anything for you LOL

  18. Jessy

    Damn girl, you’re speaking my language. I’ve had partners inadvertently make me feel bad, guilty even, for not getting “there” on penetration alone – they don’t believe me when I said I enjoyed it – so this is a huge relief to read. It’s so normal. Thanks for the review and enjoy your further research 😉 I’ll be checking out the site.

  19. S

    I’ve explored masturbation a lot and can have really good orgasms from it. I can also orgasm from sex when I touch myself as well. I would like to not have to touch myself during sex to orgasm, but its very rare that a partner can make me come from touching me or going down on me. do you think this website would still be worth looking at for me?

    • cathyreisenwitz

      I think it’s worth it if you’re willing to let your partner watch it or are willing to teach your partner what you learn from it.

  20. Anonymous

    This website is AMAZING! I previewed it and showed it to my boyfriend, who naturally became curious and bought it for both of us to explore. Basically, it is the BEST investment we have made toward our sex life, and it personally makes me feel so happy that my partner (and myself!) is more informed and educated about it. When you think about it, you’re paying a small amount to achieve a lifetime of good sex. It’s the best bargain out there!!

  21. Alex

    What’s this “pressing on the bed” technique? I’ve only ever masturbated with my fingers or with a vibrator (clit stim only… penetration doesn’t do a thing). Interested to try something else! 🙂

  22. Sarah

    Never too late to learn to have an orgasm. I enjoyed sex from age 17 on ( I am now in my 50’s) but never had an orgasm even after years of oral and vaginal sex . Reading erotica helped because if my mind is not engaged it starts to wander, and it turns out I need total focus in order to get aroused enough to come. I always felt a little sad and knew I was missing out, and felt wistfully envious when I heard how great other women’s orgasms were. I had always thought orgasm would just “happen” to me one day – still hoped that it would- and didn’t realize that for me, orgasming had to be learned and worked at. Thanks to a partner who gave me some sex toys and a collection of erotic literature (watching porn doesn’t do too much for me except maybe subliminally, as a warm up) I now have orgasms many times per week, usually while masturbating alone ( my partner lives far away so we don’t get to spend much time together, but when we do it’s all the more special) It can take me an hour or so to work up to coming from a cold start. Other times if my mind is engaged or stimulated by some random mood or thought, it can take only 10 or 15 minutes. I ‘m just glad that I now know how to make it happen. I had to be mentally ready and want it to happen ( I had years of being pretty asexual in a stressed out, tired marriage with little motivation to have sex) Sorry to ramble on but mainly these few points: we are all different! You gotta find what works for you, and realize this may change. Be OK with yourself wherever you are. When you are ready to take the plunge you can find your bliss. Toys are awesome, but if the mind is not fully engaged, forget it. Have fun everybody! It’s never too late. Or, as the 104 year old lady said to the interviewer who asked her at what age one stopped enjoying sex, “I don’t know. You’ll have to ask somebody older.”

  23. K

    I fucking love it when women can talk about this shit and not feel judged or get shut down for being ‘too sexual’ – keep sharing your ways and words of wisdom gals!

  24. Elaine Sutherland

    The problem, my dears, is men. They get hard-ons and are raring to go way before we are. A multitude of women’s problems are solved by having sex with other women.
    Try it. You’ll like it.

    • joanne

      Does anyone spontaneously orgasm on trains or buses? or sitting in a chair ? it even happened to me while sitting having breakfast with my son!! it usually occurs when i haven’t had an orgasm for a month or so, like build up of sexual energy; i can feel a throbbing, tingling and all i have to do is squeeze a little and it comes… my girlfriend thinks I’m a total wierdo. Am I?

      • A

        I sometimes have it when I’m sitting in an exam under time pressure. When my legs are crossed and I squeeze a bit it starts to build up and I come.. I always thought I was totally weird as none of my friends had heard about it before. However, the exams went good 😉

  25. joanne

    does anyone spontaneously orgasm on trains or buses? or sitting in a chair ? it even happened to me while sitting having breakfast with my son!! it usually occurs when i haven’t had an orgasm for a month or so, like build up of sexual energy; i can feel a throbbing, tingling and all i have to do is squeeze a little and it comes… my girlfriend thinks I’m a total freak. Am I?

  26. Sorella

    I don’t have spontaneous orgasms — you lucky girl! But I do get dream orgasms when I haven’t had (solo) sex for a while and tension builds up. I spontaneously dream of something that works for me and, voila. My dream orgasms are very polite, too, they always wake me up so I’ll remember it 🙂

  27. CJ

    I was considering this site after seeing a few ads and hearing Emma Watson liked it… now I’m sold! Going to buy it today! Awesome review, thanks!!

  28. Have to say I’m very curious…. quite an eye opening review and comments below. Thank you for such an honest test run though- it must be working for 2000 + to be involved and all these other women who.are trying it out can’t be wrong!

  29. Morrell

    I bought OMGyes after seeing a FB ad and reading a couple of reviews. I’m 65, single and not much interested in old dudes (after trying a few). I always sucked at masturbation (the rare times I tried it), but I used to have multiple body-rush orgasms in my 20s and 40s. I’ve only spent a bit of time watching the videos and only tried it out once. I’m already better at avoiding over-sensitizing my clit (a huge problem) and last night I had a sex dream with orgasm from clit stim and then penetration.

    I have extensive vulvar atrophy and a clit that was buried from lichen sclerosus. These techniques prove that LS does not mean the end of sexual pleasure. SO grateful!

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